Being in college has given me a world of independence, creativity, and self-discovery. I have finally been able to see myself for who I am and in this I have been able to find my value. I know who I want to become and I have placed people in my life to help me reach that ultimate goal. In my past I haven't always made the best choices in who I put myself around and in who I called my "friends." There is this overwhelming desire inside of me to want to help people; to heal the wounds that burdened my fellow human beings. My mom says that my compassion is my greatest gift and character trait. However it can become like a raincloud hovering over me all the time, because it is like I can't stop helping people... I allow people to use me and hurt me repeatedly because I hope that they will change in the long-run and that they will see the error of their ways. It is quite rarely that this actually happens however.
I say all of this to get to the main point of this entry; I now have in my life the best close net group of friends. Friends that care about me, who invest in my life (it is not only I who am investing in theirs... which had so often been the case in my past). They can be blunt and harsh at times but this is essential because when you truly care about someone you must be honest, even if this means saying something that people don't want to hear. I rely on these friends of mine; they are my hand-picked family members. They accept me with all my flaws and all my issues and I reciprocate that acceptance.
Sadly, as we grow older we have to make tough decisions about college, relationships, profession and even marriage. These choices will often times separate us for our closest buddies; and I am learning had to deal with this recent "separation anxiety" that I have become ailed with. Several of my closest friends attend college in states that feel like a MILLION MILES AWAY. I know that this is not true and the fact that they are merely one phone call away makes it more manageable; but when I hear them sniffing back tears on the other end of the line I wish I could just drop all my responsibilities here and run to their aid.
Now that Christmas break is coming to a close they are starting to pack up their suitcases once again and I will have to hug them and somehow I will have to find a way to spit out the words "good-bye" though I will probably have tears streaming down my face. I usually come up with an alternate word for this farewell moment... good-bye sounds so ultimate and final; I will usually say "see ya later" it's a more hopeful way to say adiós.
These parting not only make the individual parties stronger; but they allow the friendship itself to grow. If it doesn't learn how to work harder to maintain this bond between friends then it slowly dies. That's a somewhat dramatic way to put things but I like to use colorful and expressive words.
That's all for now,
Amy Jo
I say all of this to get to the main point of this entry; I now have in my life the best close net group of friends. Friends that care about me, who invest in my life (it is not only I who am investing in theirs... which had so often been the case in my past). They can be blunt and harsh at times but this is essential because when you truly care about someone you must be honest, even if this means saying something that people don't want to hear. I rely on these friends of mine; they are my hand-picked family members. They accept me with all my flaws and all my issues and I reciprocate that acceptance.
Sadly, as we grow older we have to make tough decisions about college, relationships, profession and even marriage. These choices will often times separate us for our closest buddies; and I am learning had to deal with this recent "separation anxiety" that I have become ailed with. Several of my closest friends attend college in states that feel like a MILLION MILES AWAY. I know that this is not true and the fact that they are merely one phone call away makes it more manageable; but when I hear them sniffing back tears on the other end of the line I wish I could just drop all my responsibilities here and run to their aid.
Now that Christmas break is coming to a close they are starting to pack up their suitcases once again and I will have to hug them and somehow I will have to find a way to spit out the words "good-bye" though I will probably have tears streaming down my face. I usually come up with an alternate word for this farewell moment... good-bye sounds so ultimate and final; I will usually say "see ya later" it's a more hopeful way to say adiós.
These parting not only make the individual parties stronger; but they allow the friendship itself to grow. If it doesn't learn how to work harder to maintain this bond between friends then it slowly dies. That's a somewhat dramatic way to put things but I like to use colorful and expressive words.
That's all for now,
Amy Jo
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