Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Beauty From Pain

The question of why we endure painful experiences is hard to answer. We don't understand why we go through things that feel as though our hearts are being ripped out of our chest. It is in the area of relationships that we most often feel this immense torment. Human beings are in this constant journey of tossing waves... acting upon our fickle emotions, forgetting to think through our choices and look at the consequences that may occur. We live selfishly in the present and we settle for less then... We search for instant gratification; and we suffer the necessary consequences for our rushed decisions. I have thought long and hard about the pain I have caused myself. Faces cross the screen that plays back memories in my mind and tears stream down my cheeks like waterfalls... they cannot be contained; a force of nature. How could I have been so foolish?
Deep breathe...
Saying goodbye to these faces... faces that are owned by a name, a laugh, a smile...
a beautiful soul that I loved.
Overwhelmed with sadness for the loss of innocent love;
of hopes and dreams of a possible future...
childish ambitions
immature fascination
I extend my hand and I wave... you may no longer haunt my dreams... unanswered questions will be forgotten by morning. I will no longer live in constant fear of "not knowing."
I will turn my back... as you once did...
as I watched you walk away
without a thought
without an apology
not even a whisper of a farewell.
Your power over me made me feel inadequate
But I have picked up speed... gained strength
grown into someone-->
someone confident.
someone beautiful.
Someone that knows my own worth and will no longer settle for second best.
My pain once defined me; it told me of my value and it held me down.
Now this pain, pain within my soul, has become merely an accent of my story.
There is beauty in pain!

Thats all for now,
Amy Jo

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